Interviews
by mochalattee
Summary: Answers to lifes questions I fixed the ending, so rr!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Interviews  
Rating: PG (one bad word so far...)  
Disclaimer: Not mine...  
A/N: please review!  
  
  
Interviews with our favorite people...  
  
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Question 1:  
  
Why did the chicken cross the road?  
  
Mulder:  
The chicken was obviously running away from some government employees, it must have had some important information that it shouldn't have known. The bastards must have killed it! Killed it for what it knew!  
  
Scully:  
I never did see the chicken cross the road. I only saw it on this side of the road and on the other side. Therefore, it may not have actually crossed the road. There's no proof.   
  
CGB Spender:  
What chicken? There never was a chicken. There never was. You did not see a chicken crossing the road.  
  
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Question 2:  
  
If a tree falls in an empty forest, does it make a sound?  
  
Mulder:  
Of course! You have to trust in the truth, and the truth is that whether or not we are there, it will happen. However, it may make a weird noise, like when you step on a dog's tail or something. The government could tamper with that noise... You can never be to safe...  
  
Scully:  
Technically, it does make a noise, but no one will ever know because no one can ever be in an empty forest. This is a mystery isn't it?  
  
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Should I continue? Stop? Any ideas? Please review! Thanks!!!


	2. Chapter 2

all right... I need ideas so if uve got em... please review and tell me. Thanks!  
  
Question 3  
  
When you close the refrigerator door, is the light still on?  
  
Mulder:  
I don't know... I'm gonna go and try it!  
  
Scully:  
The light should go off because of the little switch by the door. that switch, when pressed, will cut off the circuit, breaking it. Therefore, the light is not on when the door is closed.   
  
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Question 4  
  
Which came first: the chicken or the egg?  
  
Mulder:  
Well, the egg came first, but what about the chicken? If there was no chicken to lay the egg, then how did the egg come first? But where did THAT chicken come from? There is only one clear answer... the chickens are aliens.   
  
Scully:  
Technically, the egg came first as a cross breed between two different types of birds. See, Mulder? There is a logical explanation for everything. Even alien abductions...  
  
**Scully fades out and you can't hear her anymore because of all the racket the spaceship passing above her head is making too much noise**  
  
... it is very plausible. Don't you see?  
  
Chicken:  
BAKAH! BAK BAK BAKAH! **A/N I think I was high when I wrote that, ignore it**  
  
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A/N   
I'm not going to be terribly mean, I'm not gonna hold the rest of my story hostage while my ransom for the story would be reviews. Instead, I'm going to ask very professionally.  
**gets down on knees**  
PLEASE REVIEW PLEASE!!!  
**stands up and straightens shirt**  
thank you for your time.   
REMEMBER: I need ideas so if you have any...   
Email me: puppyeyezgurl@hotmail.com  
IM me: mochalattee225  
or just review!!!


	3. Chapter 3

Just a question... The scifi chanel said that they were gonna play the whole xfiles series from start to finish. Around season 2/3, they stopped playin' them. DOES THAT BOTHER ANYONE ELSE???? **sigh** ok, im finished now. enjoy the story!  
  
A/N ok i haven't gotten much response from that last chapter so should continue or not? If i don't get some reviews, ill take it as a hint and stop... or you could review if you really don't like it!! either way... REVIEW thanks  
  
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Question 5:  
  
Can crop circles be square?  
  
Scully:  
Since crop circles are just made up by rebellious teenagers, sure they can be square, but I doubt that they even take that much time to think about it. Even though I've been abducted, as has Mulder, I still say that crop circles are not from aliens because aliens do not exist.  
  
Mulder:  
Crop circles are not made by alien space craft. If they were, they would be triangle shaped, like in all of the episodes! Gosh, haven't you been paying attention?  
  
CGB Spender:  
Yes, believe in crop circles, believe the lie! I mean, nonsense.  
  
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Question 6:  
  
Do the girls in the shampoo commercials actually have perfect hair like that?  
  
Scully:  
People in shampoo commercials... I can't even believe that...**starts bickering incomprehensively, cuts to Agent Mulder**  
  
Mulder:  
Shampoo commercials? I don't watch television, only those videos that aren't mine... I mean, um...**turns red and puts head down**  
  
Frohike:  
Those girls are HOT! Like the yummy Agent Scully...   
  
A/N please review this! I really wanna know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: um please review, because if you don't like it, i can try to fix it... and if you do like it... tell me! please!!! please!!!! PLEASE!!!! sry, I haven't had my coffee today, so I'm a little cranky... lol  
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Interviews: Chapter 4  
  
  
Question 7: Why are the lakes and rivers in the Cascades so green?  
  
Mulder: It has been said that aliens have been sighted up in the mountains. Even though the aliens themselves are not green, maybe they give off some kind of radiation... yeah... Come, Scully, OFF TO INVESTIGATE  
  
Scully: Actually, the rivers and lakes that are green, are that way because the glaciers grind up rocks and minerals as they move. They pick up the little particles. The ground up minerals and particles make the water look green, sometimes even a milkey white color. Sorry Mulder, we don't have to fly across the country for no reason.  
  
Mulder: **sticks tounge out**  
  
Scully: **smirks**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Okay, I fixed the ending, so here you go! I hope you like it better than the first ending! If you review, I'll be your best friend, or better yet, I'll buy you coffee! Who can resist that? But anyway, On with the story...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, so don't sue me. Though even if you did, you'd probably only get some belly button lint.   
  
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Chapter 5  
  
  
Outside the interview building, on the steps, Mulder and Scully were sitting, staring at the stars.  
  
"Hey, Mulder, how about those crazy interview questions? I got a little scared when they asked about the shampoo commercials, seriously, how does that apply to anything that matters anyway? The person who wrote them must be really stupid. They're probably even stupider than the cat down the street that ran in to a light pole and died. Right Mulder?" She asked laughing.  
  
Mulder continues to stare at the sky bitting his lower lip.  
  
"Mulder?"  
  
Mulder continues staring at the sky, obviously ignoring Scully.  
  
"MULDER?"  
  
"How about this crazy weather..."   
  
Mulder looks around nervously, hoping that Scully will forget the question.  
  
"Mulder! Will you please answer my question? I just wondered if you thought those questions were as pointless as I did..."  
  
"Oh," he said, That clears that up. Thanks Scully!  
  
"You didn't answer my question..." Scully commented  
  
"I know,"  
  
"Well..." said Scully, obviously getting annoyed. Did you think those questions were stupid or not?"   
  
"Well, I didn't think they were that bad... did you really think they were stupid?" Mulder asked.  
  
Yes, Mulder, I've already told you that I did think the questions were stupid.  
  
"Oh. Hey Scully, can I tell you something?"  
  
If you really want to Mulder, she said.  
  
"Um... I wrote the questions."  
  


~*~END~*~  
  


Read and Review, let me know what you thought! Thanks!  



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